Man for Man

Have You Ever


Part I

The gay night life in Hawaii was bumping. Music blared out into the night beckoning all who was willing to come in and have a good time. People mingled outside, but most were up inside the club. Laughing, dancing, drinking, lost in conversation. Both bars had lines of people sitting at them, lines of people in line for their next drink. A crowd to one side were concentrating on a game of pool going on. The balcony of the club was packed with people sitting at tables having a good time. Enjoying the company of fellow gay men. There were the beautiful men, the masculine men, muscular, lithe, tall short, everyone mingled, and everyone had their place.


I came into the club. It was my fourth night there. Up till a few days ago I didn't know anything about the gay clubs in Hawaii. I was lost in the monotony of military life. Alive but not living, not enjoying in the experience of who I really am. Gay male in need of company of his own.

I consider myself cute, but nothing special. It was still a heady feeling of watch all eyes turn on me and more than a few inviting smiles when I walked into the club. I looked around to find the familiar faces of a few friends that I had made in the past few days, also noting new faces I hadn't seen here yet. I was new to the place, so I didn't know who were regulars and who wasn't.

My brother entered before me. He wasn't going to come out tonight, neither of us were planned to, but I decided I didn't wanna sit around tonight. So we made plans to come out to the club. His body moved to the beat of the music, a smile plastered to his lips. This was his world. What he was used to. The gay night life.

"Let's get something to drink, boo." He said to me. That's his nickname he gave me when we were little. We've always been close, even if he does get a little crazy sometimes. He's like the opposite of me in everything, but the closest of my brothers. Also the only one of my brother's also gay.

"Hiya..." He smiled at the bartender. "Can we get a Surfer On Acid and a Long Island, please." The bartender smiled and started fixing the drinks. She knew by now what we normally drank. She's seen us here every night for that past few nights. She gave us our drinks and I paid for them.

"You're the shit. I love you." He said to her, sipping his drink. She always hooked our drinks up. It's always nice to get on the good side of bartenders.

This night didn't seem as busy as the last few nights we were here at Angles. Sweet name for a gay bar, huh? My brother had to point it out to me, as if I didn't get that an "angle" was the opposite of being "straight".

So my brother and I went and found a table out on the balcony. I wanted some air and to look out into the streets of Waikiki while I had my first drink. There were lots of cute guys about. I got smiles from some with sly glances. Everyone seemed to have someone else with them to talk to. That's what I first noticed about this new guy that walked in.

I hadn't seen him here any previous nights. He was gorgeous! Without even trying he was one of the cutest guys at the club. But there was something else. I'm sort of strange in what I see in people. There are those guys that are really cute to me that I like on a purely physical attraction. Then there are guys that are really cute and I like on a physical level, but something deep in me stirs to their presence, putting a sort of new level on my attraction to them. I don't know what it is.. maybe it's some sort of chemistry thing between me and the people I get like that with.

I found myself oddly shy. I had no problems looking at all the other cute guys in the bar. I mean I knew they were all gay or if they weren't gay, they wouldn't have any problems with another guy looking at him. But for some reason I couldn't stare at this guy, and let him know I was staring. So as he came in and sat down at a table across from me I stole glances... though I wasn't very sly about it because a few times his eyes caught mine before I turned away quick.

"You think that guy is cute?" My brother asked me. I didn't need to know what guy he was talking about. And there was no need to think about the answer.

"Yes!" I smiled. He laughed, dancing to the tune of the music as he sipped his drink again. I couldn't help but turn and look at the guy again.

He was simply dressed. A white wife-beater and some khaki colored shorts with sandals on. He had a slim build, with no obvious defined muscles showing. He had what looked in the light to be a dark dirty blond colored hair with frost blond tips to it. He also had some hair on his chin in a fashionably small short beard... or possibly goatee, but it wasn't very visible in the light. He had beautiful wide eyes... deep eyes full of expression. I noticed a tattoo on his right shoulder.. it was the shoulder closest to me. It was a Celtic knot, one with three points to it. His face was just gorgeous and masculine. I'm very attracted to masculinity.


He smiled at me. Of course he didn't like me though. No one that cute would like me. Like I said I'm nothing special. I'm bi-racial. My father is black and my mother is white. I had very short black hair and light golden brown eyes (from contacts). Clean shaven. The most notable thing about me would be my eyes. I'm also military. Navy. Some people are attracted to that, but this guy had no idea I was military, unless he guess from my hair, so that attraction was out. So simply put, he couldn't have been attracted to me. Maybe he was a nice guy and was smiling because he was nice.

So time went on some. I got another drink, watched a little bit of a pool game. Then got back to my table. Cute boy had moved and was now across from me in my direct line of sight, but further away. My mind was swimming that I could look at him without being too obvious now, except every time I did look he always seemed to be looking back and smiling. Ok, I'm not that dense... maybe he does like me some. Maybe he wanted to talk to me. Then he made a gesture that was unmistakably an invitation to join him.

Ok.. I'm scared. I don't know what I'm so scared to talk to this guy. Fear of rejection, yeah. No one else I've been this scared to talk to though. What if he hates me immediately? What if I bore him and he just leaves? God I wanted to talk to him, but now the fear of rejection was coupled with fear of maybe I am just seeing something that's not there.

So time goes on some more and he moves tables again. This time behind and to one side of me. Once again sitting alone. I shifted the position of my chair by this time and was looking out at the balcony. I look at him and he smiles at me again.

I got up and stood in the doorway to the balcony. The owner of the club was in the middle of the dance floor with a box of stuff. It was the door prize stuff. We were all given tickets when we first came in... well me and my brother got ours at the bar. So I'm half listening to what the prizes were and half watching this guy. Cute guy put his hand on the chair next to him and moved it in an obvious inviting for me to join him. So watching the guy more as he calling out ticket numbers, cute guy gets up to go to the bathroom.

He has plenty of room to get by me, though there were other people in the doorway too. When he got next to me he grabbed my hips with both hands and smiled at me and said excuse me. There was no way in hell I could pretend he wasn't interested in me. And I decided when he came back I would sit and talk with him. So I waited.

Then I noticed some gay guy that was with another guy sat at cute guy's table with an extra drink in his hand. Damn, no mistaking the intentions there. Cute guy comes back and sits down. Other gay guy hands him the drink and they start talking. Damn, damn me for being a such a fool and waiting to long. Now I lost my chance.

I was definitely feeling like crap now. The other guy that was with the gay guy before joined them both back at the table and they all got into conversation with each other. Cute guy looked to be having a good time. Ya, I definitely missed my chance.

I turned back to my brother. He noticed what was going on.

"Look at those faggots over there. Look Anj, you need to go over there and rescue your boy from them." My brother said.

"He looks like he's having a good time with them," I said flatly. "I waited too long."

So I talked to my brother more. I didn't feel like dancing or anything. All I could think about was cute guy and how I blew it. Eventually cute guy got up and grabbed his cigarettes, excusing himself and leaving his drink untouched at the table. He made his way to the stairs to leave the club. As he walked down he looked up at me and made eye contact till he passed out of view.

"See, Anj. He wanted *you* all that time. That's why he started at *you* as he left." My brother declared.

That didn't help my mood much. I knew I blew it and now this guy was leaving to probably never be seen again. I watched him cross Kuhio street and make his way back to where ever it was he was going. I just felt like utter crap. As I watched him a voice in my head yelled for me to go after him. It was a crazy thought, but there it was. Yelling over and over for me to go after him or I would regret it. So I acted on impulse and ran out the club. Stopped at the street long enough to make sure I was good to cross and ran after cute guy.


I'm crazy, I was telling myself in my head. This guy is gonna think I'm nuts. Oh well. I stopped running as I got close to him, I didn't want to run up on him and really make him think I lost it. So I got to him as he turned the next corner.

"Hey!" I called to him.

He turned around to see who was calling to him and when his eyes met mine his face lit up with the biggest smile. My heart kind of skipped a beat at that moment. Here this gorgeous guy was happy to see me.

"Hi." He said, his smile hadn't left his face. I smiled back.

"I wanted to talk to you back in the club. But then when I was going to, those guy rushed you."

"Oh, those guys just wanted to talk. It was nothing." He said staring at me. I definitely had his full attention now that I wasn't trying to dodge him meeting my glances like earlier.

"I'm Andre." I said extending my hand.

"Ryan," he took my hand and shook it.

"Are you going back to the club?" I asked.

"Tonight..." He had that look like, that wasn't what was on his mind yet he didn't want to just say no.

"No," I laughed feeling dumb. "I mean tomorrow." He smiled at me.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Do you live here?" I dreaded the answer. I seen where he was heading and that was nothing but hotels in that direction.

"Nah... I'm just visiting."

"Oh," I said, dejected. "When you go back?"

"Friday." That was crap. Pure crap. It was Wednesdays night. That meant only one more day then after that he was leaving.

"We can walk while we talk," I motioned him on. So we started walking and talking.

"Where are you from?"

"San Diego," he said. Oh, that's cool. That's were I planned on moving after I got out of the military. But that was months away.

"Nice, that's where I planned on moving."

"Oh, ya." He smiled.

We talked about all kinds of things. I told him I was in the military. How much I hated being in Hawaii and that I wished that I was the one leaving. He told me some more about himself. We just chatted back and forth as we walked to his hotel.

"So are you here alone?" I asked. Not sure what I wanted to hear.

"No. I came with my ex and his friend." Oh. The ex. Not exactly what I wanted to hear. A lot of times things patch up between *the ex* and the person. As we walked I watched a hooker come our way. She surprised me when she stopped at us.

"Any of you boys looking to find a girl?" She asked. I got to admit. She was hot and her outfit was banging. But she didn't have what I needed.

"Sorry, you're not my type." I told her with a smile.

"Oh, I'm not. So what is your type." She said with a smile. I put my arm around Ryan's shoulder and pulled him close to me.

"He's my type." I said as Ryan said "You're dick isn't long enough for me." She laughed

"Oh.. I should have guessed," she said. "You two are very cute. Goodnight."

Ryan and I bid her good night and walked on.

"You know," Ryan said aloud. "I seen some girls like her the other day, but I didn't think they could really be hookers."

"Ya, they are pretty, huh? Yup.. This is like the hooker street, the strip is. They are always around here. I remember the first time I seen a hooker here my first night on the strip. Yesterday one was blocking the bank door." He laughed at that. "They all look good too."

"I see." He said.

"So where are we walking to?" I asked.

"I'm staying at the Hyatt."

"Where's that?"

"Those big tower there," he pointed.

"Ah." We were close. So we kept walking and talking some more. I didn't wanna stop talking to him. But I knew we were going to be parting again. So I really hated it when we finally reached it.

"Well this is it," he said turning to me. I felt said. I really didn't want the night to end. It was such a short time with him because of my stupid fear of rejection.

"Well, bye," I said. "I hope to see you again tomorrow night before you leave on Friday." I offered my hand to him. He ignored it and grabbed me into a hug.

Oh my god. I can't tell you how good it felt to have his arms around me and mine around him. I know it sounds cheesy, but I could have stayed like that all night. And damn to anyone who might have seen me there hugging Ryan. He had his face in my shoulder and I put mine in his. I breathed in his scent and really didn't want to let go of him. But we couldn't stay like that forever. So with reluctance I let him go. Smile and we said our last goodnights and parted.


I walked back to the club a lot faster than Ryan and I walked away from it. I did have to get back to my brother. Though it sounded like he yelled for me to go chase after Ryan when I ran out, I wasn't sure. He would probably be worried sick about me.

When I got to the corner across the street from the club and waited so I could cross I heard my brother yell out from the balcony.

"I'm going to kill you, Andre." I laughed. "Look at you all smiling and happy. How dare you just disappear like that."

I made it across the street and into the bar.

"You went after him, didn't you?" He asked smiling. He also had my drink in his hand that I abandoned for Ryan. "You sly dog, you." He laughed.

He began to tell everyone that he found me and that he was right, I did go after cute boy, even though he didn't realize it at first till he couldn't find me in the club. So I finished my night there and even though I was really happy for having spent that time with Ryan, I didn't want to go to the next club over when Angles closed, but I did anyway.

Some guy I had met the other night was there. My brother went up to him when we were on the dance floor and I noticed him and said something to him. My brother came back pissed and told me that the guy said I wasn't good enough for him because he didn't like my brother. I shrugged it off. The guy was cute, but he was no Ryan and I really didn't care about him anymore. I still had Ryan fresh on my mind and the hope that I would see him at Angles the next night.

So I danced and danced and danced some more. I was really feeling it that night, all happy and up on cloud nine you know. So even though a bunch of cute guys danced with me, and ya, we danced dirty, and had no inkling of attraction to them.

The other guy I met from the night before came up to me when I was getting another drink. Normally I don't drink at all. But I will drink socially. This was only like my fourth, I think. He whispers in my ear that he likes *me* and that my brother shouldn't come up to him being a prick. He said he thinks I'm hot but he doesn't like my brother getting into our business. I just smiled at the compliment and got my drink.

So chilling in the club and dancing some more I had to use the bathroom. This other cute guy I was watching before I seen Ryan came in after me. Then my brother came in and offered the guy the stall but he declined it. He smiled at me as he took the urinal I vacated. Then he watched me and I washed my hands and he pissed. Ya, gay guys have no shame. The bathroom is like an extension of the club, the party goes on in there too. And even though I was attracted to this guy, hey he was cute as hell. I still had Ryan on the mind. I smiled at him and left.

I stood against the wall and watched my brother dance when he came back out, and all the other guys dance too. AS I watched them the guy from the other night came up to me to me and got real close in my face telling me how sexy I was and that he wanted to kiss me again. Ya, ok so I kissed this guy the other night. I just smiled. He asked me if I was going to Fusions after Angles closed and I said ya. He said he would meet me over there. He kissed me before I could stop him, but it was only a quick peck. Didn't bother me that much.

Someone seen it and told my brother and my brother got angry and all sorts of things. Didn't hear the end of it. I tried telling him there was no way I could stop it. He was so close and then he just kissed me. It was fast and meant nothing. I didn't want any of those guys in there. Who I wanted had already left for the night.

So Angles closed and we moved over to fusions. It was bumping. Packed to the rim. Angles got packed before it closed and all those guys from there moved over to Fusions for the last two hours of clubbing. I enjoyed the rest of the night. I didn't drink anymore, though. I'm not a big drinker and those drinks I had was doing a number on me. I was feeling a little tender for having gone out three night before. So I just kept drinking water. Eventually Fusions closed and it was time for goodbyes and all that good stuff. So I eventually made it back to the hotel and went to sleep, thinking of Ryan.


Part II

It was Thursday night now. Thanksgiving night. The family and I just got back from a Luau at Germaine's Luau. It was a nice time. The food was good, except for the chicken long rice. That was pretty nasty. Looked like long clear spaghetti noodles, tasted like crap and had as sick texture making me think I was eating worms or something. Definitely wasn't my think. My mother and brother got some too thinking because I had it on my plate that I ate it before and liked it. It was funny watching their faces when they tasted it.

So the Luau went well and the performances were good. My brothers and I even got on stage to do the Tahiti hula dance. I thought I did pretty well considering I'm male and there was no way possible I could shake my hips like that.

So once we arrived at the hotel I changed out of my Hawaiian shirt and into what I was gonna wear to the club. I freshened up. Ya that sounds so female. And brushed my teeth. And was ready to go. But it wasn't time yet so I told my brother that I was gong downstairs with my mother and that I would be leaving at ten-thirty.

So I went down. We listened to some Hawaiian guy playing his guitar and singing in the hotel bar. I am proud how patiently I waited there when I wanted to just rush off to the club and see if Ryan was there. But at ten-thirty came around I left having to have to stop at the ATM to get some money out before going to the club.

So I walked to the club wondering how packed it was going to be. It was a holiday so there should be a good crowd of people there. I could hear the music down the street as I neared the club. As I got to it I looked around outside seeing who would see me go in. I'm military, it's bad enough I deprived myself from going to the gay clubs this long, but I didn't want someone to see me going in who might cause trouble for me later.

So I went up there stairs, dancing a little to the beat of the music. Went to the bar and ordered me a Surfer On Acid. So I went to a table just at the entrance to the balcony so I could see what was inside and outside. I kept looking out into the street seeing if my brother was coming of course. I think the guys out on the balcony thought I was looking at them, though I tried to make it as obvious as I could that I was staring past them.

As a half hour rolled by and it was hitting eleven, my brother walked in. Figures he would get past when I wasn't looking. But I was watching the dancers get ready to perform. So he gets his drink and come join me at my table. The performances started then.

"How far into the performances are they, Anj?" He asked.

"Just started."


It started with three guys doing a trio performance. Then with Julian doing a slow martial arts dance with a kitana to a slow song. Ya, that performance had my attention. It was hot the way he did that performance. Time went on. More performances went on. Ryan didn't show up.

I kept glancing outside and my brother knew what I was looking for.

"He isn't showing up, is he?" He asked.

"Doesn't look like it. It's all right," I said. No it wasn't all right. But I knew there was a chance he wouldn't show up. But god I was hoping to see him again before he left. "I knew it wasn't definite if he would come or not."

All the performances were over. My brother talked to most the performers. Julian we both talked to a lot from the other night. He was a cool guy. My brother was really into him and they way he moved. He liked to come over to us and *cool off* at the fan next to us. By now I had resigned myself to the fact that he wasn't going to show. I was really disappointed. I couldn't get Ryan out of my head and I only spent a little time with him.

So I went to get another drink. On my way to the bar I seen a friend of ours, Sandy, walk in. I gave her a hug and she asked where my brother was. I pointed him out to her. He stood out with his hair freshly bleached blonde. Done by me, and it was a great job done on it too. Everyone was giving him compliments.

So I got another drink. And talked with my brother and Sandy. My brother got hooked up with a special Blue Hawaii that was frosty. Was different by tasted just the same as a regular one. Just more smooth. I watched some of the pool game going on. Watching some crap shots this one guy took. He must have been feeling it, because he really did make some crap shots. Then Sandy played the drag queen that was winning. I think she's a drag queen. Maybe she's transsexual, but she looked like a guy. Sandy won because the queen scratched on the eight ball.


I stopped watching. I was pretty bored and feeling bummed out. I didn't feel like dancing. I didn't really feel like being at the club at that time. I went to sit on the balcony and think to myself. I was out there for a while feeling sad that Ryan didn't show up.

I tried get in a better mood after. I did some dancing on the floor, though nothing extensive. Music was night and I didn't want to totally ruin my night. So I danced some and then chatted with friends. Watched these two cute guys. One was the cute guy from the night before that was at the bathroom.

This really big girl came in. She seemed to know Sandy. They hugged and was chatting with each other. Sandy introduced her to us. Her name was Desteni. So we talked for a little while you know. Doing the whole socializing at the club thing.

I left them to go use the bathroom. Seems like alcohol goes out of me as fast as it goes it. No matter how little I had to drink always had to use the bathroom. I was on my third drink, but it was still full. Some guy in the bathroom started talking to me, telling me about some bug in the stall. I didn't really care. He was making me uncomfortable to tell the truth. I wanted to piss in peace. When he'd finally gone I was able to do my thing, wash my hands and leave. Ya, I always wash my hands. As I came out my brother came running up to me and scared me he was so excited.

"Anj. He's here! Your boy is here." He yelled excited. I felt my face break into a smile.


"He's out here, come on." He dragged me out to the balcony. There was my boy. Ryan sat their looking as good as before. Wearing a black button up shirt, wife-beater and khaki colored shorts. He looked up at me and smiled. I know I was beaming. My heart was pounding too. He showed up. I thought I would never see him again and he just was there.

"Hi," I said sitting down.

"Hi," he said still smiling.

"Wait a min, be right back." I went inside and grabbed a napkin for my drink and sat down with Ryan.

"I didn't think you were going to show up tonight."

"I wasn't going to. But I decided to come out and see what was happening."

"Well I'm glad you did. You want anything to drink?"

"I don't drink." He said. Well that's cool. Normally I don't drink either.

My brother jumped in introducing himself. Ryan was nice and greeted them with a smile and nod. Really I felt like my brother was intruding. So I tried talking to Ryan but damn me if I could think of anything to say. So there were some uncomfortable silences. Then Ryan excused himself to use the bathroom.

"What's up Anj?" My brother asked.

"I don't know what to say him. I'm feeling dumb like I'm gonna blow it."

My brother started listing off a bunch of things I could talk about. With the parting instructions to talk about myself, not Ryan and Ryan is to talk about himself. I didn't quite think that was sound advice though. But I did have sort of a game plan for when Ryan got back. Ryan came back shortly.

"Hey, man. I'm going to take off. I'm not really feeling it tonight." My heart just fell. Not more than five minutes after getting to see him again and talking to him, he was going to leave. Ya, I felt like I totally blew that one. I know it had to be showing in my face how I felt. But I said goodbye to him anyway. He gave me a kind of apologetic look and walked to the stairs and left. He didn't glance at me on his way down, only confirming I totally blew it. He just figured now I wasn't what he was expecting.

I felt like total crap. I really didn't want to be at the club anymore. So I just told my brother I was leaving. That Ryan just left me. And I didn't want to be there anymore. So I rushed out. I got across the street when I noticed Ryan wasn't ahead of me, anywhere. This pissed me off. This gorgeous guy just rejected me saying he was going home and he lied to me. I turned to go back to the club. When I crossed the street I looked down the other direction and seen him walking. I decided right then I was going to ask him if it was really me why he left or not. So I ran after him.


This time I just ran up to him and stopped next to him.

"Hey, Ryan. I didn't do anything wrong to make you leave did I?" I asked, knowing full well I didn't want to hear a yes, but wanting to know the truth at the same time.

He turned an apologetic look at me.

"No, it wasn't you at all. I just don't feel good right now, so I was heading back to the hotel." He said.

"Oh... Well it's just that I was really hoping you would show up tonight and when you did I was hoping to get to hang out with you for longer than that."

He smiled at me. "We can hang out if you want." Hell yea that's what I wanted! So we started walking together again and talking.

"So I seen you walking this way." I left it open.

"I'm in another hotel. They moved us to the Marriott because they were over-booked at the Hyatt. Full expenses paid for the night so we thought why not."

So we continued walking and talking, till basically I couldn't ignore how dry my mouth was.

"Want to go some where to get something real to drink? I mean something non-alcoholic."

"Well there's a store over there. Let's grab a soda."

We crossed the street and went into the store. We walked to the back where the coolers were, I decided to grab a water instead of a soda. Works better for quenching the thirst. Ryan grabbed one too. As we brought them to the counter, we both pulled out our wallets. The lady asked if they were together and I said yes. I put my wallet away when Ryan continued to dig for cash.

"Look at that," he laughed. "You just think he's gonna pay for it." He smiled at me pulling out two bucks. "You got the rest of it?"

"Ya." I pulled at the seventy-five cents and put it on the counter. We said goodnight to the lady and left. So we continued walking down the street talking.

"So you said your ex's friend was with you guys, right?"

"Ya. He's a good guy. We planned this trip five month's ago, but broke up shortly after we planned it. So we figured we would just go through with it since it was already planned."

I nodded. We walked very close to each other, our bodies rubbing up against each other as we walked. Eventually we reached a hotel and started walking into the lot. Then he just stopped.

"Well this isn't it," he said. "Well isn't this nice. Brought us to the wrong one. Must be the next down." We laughed and started walking again.

I was just enjoying his presence so much. It was a great relaxing feeling. I just like being around Ryan. We walked another block down and reached our destination. We couldn't go into the rooms because the ex and friend up there sleeping. So we had decided one hanging out in the lobby.

We walked into the lobby and walked to the back before deciding to sit on these cushioned benches. We sat right next to each other.

"So what do you do?" I asked.

"For work? I work in a restaurant." He said.

"Oh cool."

"I'm just a server." He laughed.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-six. You?"


"Ah, so you just made it?"

"Ya, back in June. So is that what you seen yourself doing. For work I mean?"

"No. I'm just a server." He stated.

"Well you could be working your way up."

"I just needed a job, to get my life back on track."

So I asked him about growing up in San Diego and if I would like it when I came out to live. As we talked he shifted so his arm was behind me. But not like all he was doing was looking for sex. I was totally comfortable around him. And I really wanted to kiss him.

I'm not quite sure what lead to it, or when he decided to do it. But he just leaned over and kissed me. I'm not exaggerating or putting more feeling into the experience, but it was the best kiss I ever had. I haven't kissed that many guys, even my ex didn't make me feel this way when we kissed. It was really the most sensual kiss I had from a guy that was just filled with lust. Them wanting me and vice versa. Though I know Ryan wanted me and I definitely wanted him, but the kiss was slow and passionate.

After he broke it he pulled back to look in my face, a slight smile on his face. As if seeing if I enjoyed the kiss as much as he did.


"I had wanted to kiss you since I first saw you," I told him. He smiled that gorgeous smile and kissed me again.

My tongue went into his mouth seeking and his into mine. I remember thinking that for a guy who smokes he didn't taste at all like cigarettes and I liked it. I loved kissing him. I sucked his tongue into my mouth massaging it with my own tongue and lips and he did the same. I help his head as I tried to give myself to him. As we kissed he rubbed my side. I rubbed down his leg and then into his private. He was hard and so was I. He broke the kiss laughing as he felt my hard dick.

"We better find somewhere more secluded." He pulled me up and we walked along.

I was holding his hand till I we got to the top of the stairs, but then I really had to pee.

"Don't wanna break the mood, but I really gotta pee." I said.

"There some bathrooms right here. If it's not locked."

Of course it was. So when we got up to the third floor where the pool area was, he motioned off to one side where I could piss. For most part I kicked my gun-shyness. But with him standing there I really couldn't go. It wasn't that strong an urge anyway.

"Let's sit in these lounge chairs," he said directing over to one corner of the pool area.

We pushed the chairs together and got into them. As I laid back he leaned over and started kissing me again. I leaned closer to him and started kissing him. He pulled me on top of him and was pulling me into him. I propped myself over him as I kissed him deeply. Our tongues were doing a dance of passion. Then he pulled me down into him and held my waist and he started grinding into me. He pulled me up and started kissing and licking my neck and kissed down to my shoulder. I did the same. He tasted good. His skin was salty. I never waited anyone was much as I wanted Ryan.

I backed off him and pulled him shirt up. I kissed his chest. He was lightly dusted with hair. I loved it. I licked and kissed his right nipple. Then kissed and licked his left nipple. I started kissing down his stomach. Then pulled back up and started kissing him again. After a long while of kissing. We leaned our faces into each other's shoulders and moaned as we grinded against each other.

I then put my hands down his pants to feel his dick. It was nice and smooth. I opened his shorts and took it out. It was pretty. I know it sounds funny. But I like pretty dicks. His was about six inches and it was smooth and straight. He kissed me again and smiled.

"Let's move out of here." We got up. "Let's see what's over around this corner." We went around the corner and it came to a dead-end. Just a little area with a chair. "Perfect." He said.

We moved over to the chair and started kissing deeply again. I was lost in his kiss till he pulled away and sat down. Then he started undoing my belt and opened my shorts. He pulled out my rock hard dick and rubbed it a couple time. Then he looked up and smiled, then brought it to his mouth. He started sucking my dick with long quiet stokes.

It surprised me. I didn't expect him to make that move on me first, though I knew I was going to do it to him. Most the time it's only effeminate guys who's quick to take the dick in their mouth. Ryan was far from effeminate. That made my like him more.

He sucked my dick with proficiency. It felt great and I couldn't help but moan. I looked off the side into the street as he blew me and then turned back to him. After a while he pulled back as I pulled away.

I bent down and kissed him. Then undid his short and revealed his hard dick. He sat back and I pulled his shorts down. I didn't waste any time going down on him. I took his dick fully in one motion. That's when I was on firing. My body was buzzing with feeling as I went down on him. I put all the skill I had into it.

I went all the way down, and used the back of my throat to massage the head. As I moved up and I used lips and roof of my mouth to slid again his creamy pole. Alternation between stimulating his head or just his shaft. Then I tightened my lips and used tongue and lips to just massage his head. I gyrated, putting a spin motion into the suction. I worked up and down and as I felt him getting closer I went faster. Paying special attention to his head. The whole time his body was shaking with the sensations he was getting and he was holding on to me like he never wanted to let go. Then he buried his cock deep in my throat and let loose. I gulped down his whole load. Then gently milked the last bit of it from his dick.


I looked up at him. He was smiling and breathing really hard. I knew he liked it a lot. Just from the way he was responding to it. And his hard breathing was a welcome sound.

"Wow," he said still smiling.

"Guess you liked that." He nodded.

I don't think he knows how much I enjoyed doing that to him. I'm the kind of person I get off on making someone feel pleasure. So for him to react the way he did to me sucking his dick was the biggest turn on I could get. He pulled me down into him and started kissing me again. Then he pulled away.

"Now, I gotta pee." He laughed.

"Me too."

He moved over to the corner and pulled his dick back out and motioned for me to join him. I watched it. Didn't feel weird at all to be standing next him trying to piss.

"Once I start going, you'll go." He said.

It took him a minute before he started going. As he was finishing, I started. He said he'd leave me to do my business. Once I was done I moved over to a wall ledge he was sitting on.

"You have really beautiful eyes, you know." He told me.

"Thanks," I think I blushed. "They're not mine though."



"Do you need them?" He asked.


"Well you look good with them." He said some other things about my looking good as we leaved into each other. I touched his Celtic knot tattoo on his right shoulder.

"Celtic?" I asked.

"Ya. I'm Irish. Well mostly Irish, I had some other stuff in me too. I'm about seventy-five percent, so I just say I'm Irish."


"How about you?"

"Half black half white. Well if you want to get technical, French Canadian and some other stuff."


So we talked for a bit more. Then he started kissing me deeply again. This time was slow and very passionate. I really didn't want it to end. After he pulled away we sat in quiet for a moment. Then out of no where he grabbed me and buried his face in my chest. He held me for what seemed like forever. I help him stroked his side. I wanted to break down there. The feelings I was feeling for Ryan was way beyond simple lust. And having just had sex with him, lust wasn't on my mind. Here was a guy I could easily fall in love with, if that wasn't what was already happening. So as he had his face buried in my chest I wished that I wouldn't have to let go. I opened myself trying to let him feel everything I was feeling. But fate is cruel. It brought us together just to take us apart.

He finally pulled away from me his face filled with regret and sadness.

"I think I should turn in now," he told me. My heart was breaking. I nodded and we stood up together.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and I did the same. We walked slowing, retracing the steps that brought us to this point. There were no words as we walked down to the entrance. I was broke up inside that I would have to leave him.

When we got entrance we stopped and faced each other. He grabbed me and kissed me deeply. All my longing and regret went into this kiss. All of how much he made me feel and already how much it all meant to me. It was happy and sad. Slow and deep. But it was an ending. We reluctantly pulled away.

"I'm glad to have met you," he told me as he bid his final farewell.

"Me too," I whispered.

I started to walk away. I turned around to look at him one last time. He watch me with a look that mirrored my own. Then I turned for the last time and walked out of his life.

There were no numbers exchanged. No contact information. I didn't offer or ask, and neither did he. I can't chain a person who is far from me. And though we could have just been friends, it would be easier that way to just part. At least it made sense at the time.

Rate this story:

In fictional stories it is fine to have sex without condoms, but in reality you should always use a rubber, regardless if you use Prep or not. Prep only protects for HIV, thats why other diaseases spread among Prep users that practice bareback sex.