I guess looking back, Badger showed me the way to true happiness and brought me out of the doldrums in such a wonderful and gratifying way I could never imagined after the three disastrous relationships I had with girls.
You know how it is, growing into adolescence is a real trauma and one automatically goes along with the dating of the opposite sex and everything that goes with that, my pals boasting about how it was first time and how girls could never get enough of him an "it."
Somehow I could never get aroused with a girl and of course not knowing otherwise, I imagined I was abnormal or something when the girls dumped me.
I tried - how I tried, and my last girl, Janice did her thing in an effort to complete a satisfactory union, I did like the kissing, she was good at that and for a while I thought I was getting there, my cock half mast to her French kissing but never enough to get a real manageable erection, never enough to get into her, result was that I left her in the lurch once too often, even though I tried, Janice sucked me off, and did all the things to do with foreplay but I was a complete no -go she complained bitterly and said I must be gay or something.
It was what she said that made me think seriously if I was gay but it was not until about five years later In was able to express and energise my true leanings - and of all places when I was working on my allotment and, having taken an agricultural degree at Exeter university I wanted to spread my wings and do my own thing, experimenting with new types of plants and the like.
This guy who I have written about several times called Badger was in his sixties and he admired the way I organised my plot and we just got talking from there and became close friends.
And when he started asking me to join him for a morning cup of coffee in his allotment shed we became even closer and I realised although he was much older than me I had developed a strong attraction for him.
Was he a father figure image? I don't know - I imagined at first he was having lost my dad at an early age with cancer and having missed him so much, was Badger simply filling in that big gap in my life.
But he clearly thought of me more than a son and when he started to talk about homosexual relationships, how he was bisexual and the rest of it I suddenly realised that the feeling I had developed for this guy was sexual in as much as when, one morning in his shed, he planted his hand firmly on my thighs as we enjoyed coffee, I felt s sensuous tingle down below and I guess my expression clearly showed my pleasure in his touch because he squeezed my thigh a little and moved his hand into the inside of my thigh and I instinctively parted my legs anticipating and hoping he would go further, the feeling of his touch through my jeans feeling so good and wanting.
Badger smiled so openly and warmly, he had no need to say anything, the approval was there in body language and I was glad to receive his exploring touching and feeling. And when his hand opened and bunched my credentials through my jeans I was in a wonderful new world of my own, just closing my eyes and enjoying so much. Realising then that is what it was all about, no problems now about a lacking erection because I was good and high, like a mountain growing in my jeans encouraged by Badger's fruitful touch, all the time squeezing and manipulating. Now I had no doubts or no inhibitions as to my true identity and my true leaning. For the first time I felt the urge to experience not only Badger's touch but the feel of his fuck deep inside me.
It was like I was feeling what Had I been missing all this time. Now my true feelings were coming out just like my cock and balls as Badger aptly undid my zip, ripped down my jeans and briefs and made no hesitation in showing his deep sexual emotions he was down there, his face into my crotch, sniffing, licking and sucking and all. It was something I had never realised could be so utterly wonderful and warm, then the tease of his tongue as he stretched my hind cheeks apart and started to rim my most secret place, making me realise now that I wanted his bonding inside me, and I knew that's what he wanted, his fingers gradually stretching and working into me, he telling me to tell him to stop if he was hurting me, asking me if I had ever had a guy there before, and when I said no never, he brought out from a drawer in his shed a jar of Vaseline which he said he used for medical reasons but would do the job well. Eventually he asked me to bend over a bench which he used for pricking out and, in my complete birthday suit and spread over a cushion he used on his chair, and there I was perfectly perched and presented and I cant tell you just how much I ached for him.
I hadn't even had the opportunity to see him and I so wanted that, I was imagining what it was like to suck a guy for the first time but that was soon going to be remedied after Badger's fuck and it would be absolutely divine, I just felt that, because here was the guy I had unwittingly been looking for. A guy who wanted me, who ached for me and to feel him gradually working his hard cock into my ass for the first time was an experience I shall never ever forget. And he was so very gentle to start with, whispering that it was likely to hurt as it was my first time so I expected that, but all that numbed into the wonderful feeling of enjoying that hard throb deep inside me when, after some gently thrusting, he made it and hearing his moan of appreciation and his sounds of joy I was happy to be all ass for this lovely guy who knew just how to give me a wonderful time.
After that first fuck I felt complete at last, and meeting Badger in the allotment shed was to become a regular thing, we'd fuck first thing, have coffee, then do what we needed to do in our allotments and then later, we would be at it again
And it became better and better each time. I'd reached the stage of sucking him until he came in my mouth. It took a little time to achieve that but that is what made our relationship all the more thrilling and exciting.
He now presents himself saying; "well here it is then" and there it is, strong and upright, he jerks it a little to enthuse me but he has no need, I am immediately enthralled by that superb eight inches of sheer delight and when I take it into my mouth it is so wonderful and soothing, to feel the throb as I deeply masturbate him, squeezing my jaw to give him maximum sensitivity and there I am gladly taking him on my knees, grasping his thighs, tasting and sucking with all my might, stretching back that gorgeous bulbous red knob end and teasing the tip of my tongue ( whish he loves) into his p-hole and with a mouth full of hard cock I am thinking just what I had been missing, because those girl friends could never have done this for me so that is what I am meant to be and, once Badger has been sucked and licked and wanked until his hot salty cum spurts into my mouth, we relax awhile, just touching and squeezing each other, loving the delightful feel of Badger' s rough hands explore my ass cheeks as he lures me to bend over his lap. I feel his fingers rim me and know that soon he would be risen again to give me that most wonderful fuck I had come to enjoy so very much.
He spanks me some, tells me I have a very spank able ass, it stings a bit but somehow the beautiful numbness which follows takes all that away and I am just happy to be all ass for him whenever way he wants it. He tells me he loves to see it bounce as he spanks me and that combined with the sound makes for a wonderful arousal so I don't mind the spanking and in fact have come to want it as another part of our deep relationship.
Sometimes he chooses to spank my with my tight jeans hitched up tight to spread my cheeks, then to sniff me before he roughly removes them and spanks me raw.
Then he plasters me with squirty cream would you believe, he loves to do that and it does feel good, especially when he licks it all from my body afterwards, just to chill and relax and enjoy him doing that is really something very erotic, sensual and lovely.
Badger I miss so very much since his passing I have already told you about in other stories, but somehow it feels as though he is still there, up there watching me as I perform with him in mind, using that wonderful mould he had made for me, the exact shape of his erect cock, never the same of course as the real thing but working it inside me and remembering those wonderful times Badger and I shared it still a good substitute.