"There is something haunting in the light of the moon; it has all the dispassionateness of a disembodied soul, and something of its inconceivable mystery"
Laying in the grass staring at the moon I couldn't help but glamor at it's beauty, oh how foolish, I choose to spend my last moments staring at the moon. I knew full well that this may be the final time I am able to stare at the beauty that is the moon, the last time I lay in the grass. And then reality rushed in, I thought about him, about Alex. I hoped he was safe, I hope he had survived the events without so much as a scratch, but I knew full well the possibility of that having occured were little to none. I thought of how right Joesph Conrad had been, I had dreamt many nights of being with Alex forever without such as a disturbance. I dreamt that neither of us would ever be alone again; we would always have eachother. But in the words of Joesph Conrad, 'we live as we dream, alone'.
As my essence began to fade I remembered something Alex had once told me, that Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. In that moment I knew that my purpose in life was to love him, and that in doing so my life had no more purpose... I wished, just one last time before I passed through the void to feel his embrace, for I lived and died for it. An embrace that could move mountains...raise oceans, an embrace that had enticed me for a year, an embrace that would continue to entice me until the very end of time. It came swiftly, and I know not whether it was God answering my prayers, or rather him cursing me, for I knew this would be that last embrace I ever felt. But what an embrace it was, and in that instant I remembered the past year with him, for I now know that it is not your life that flashes before your eyes, but your love, your true love...
...1 year prior
I awoke to the abnoxious noises eminating from my phone, ya I know, time to wake up... But today would be a good day, today was my day, today was to be the greatest day of my life. Today was the first day of my Senior year, and no one could ruin this day for me.
I rushed through my normal morning procedure, eager to venture out into the last year of high school, or at least that is what I was hiding behind. I was eager to see him, Alexander Russo. Alex was a senior like me, but he had moved away at the beginning of our sophomore year and was returning to Columbia so he could graduate with his friends. We had never been friends ourselves, but we had mutual friends, and that was enough for me. Alex wasn't a greek god, he wasn't some amazing football player, he was just a normal everyday high schooler. Now don't get me wrong, he was very attractive, just not something amazing that you hear in normal stories, he was just...Alex. He had long dirty brown punk hair, but not too long, he had that perfect length that combined with the features of his face and his smile just made you melt. He had the most beautfiul grey eyes I had ever seen, they even surpassed the normally adorned light blue eyes.
In past years I had always adorned him, but he never noticed me. We had never even had a full conversation, just the occasional 'Hey Matt' inbetween classes, or the occasional nod when we saw eachother outside of school. This year would be different though, because this year, he was living next door. I had it all planned out, I was going to offer to take him to school, for he didn't have a car and I did. As foolish as it sounds, that was my plan. That is how I intended to become friends with him, and that is why I was rushing to get ready before he left on the bus. With hardly any time left all I had time to eat was a bagel, I even forgot to grab my backpack. Thankfully he was leaving just as I was, and waved to me as I closed and locked the door to the house.
"Morning Matt, ready to start our senior year?" he said, still waiving.
"Ya, gonna be one hell of a year, but what kind of a start to your last year of high school is it going on a bus? Come on, I'll give you a ride." I replied, putting my plan into action.
"I guess you're right, arriving on a bus ain't the best way to get the ladies interested." he laughed, and then headed over to the car.
He slowed to a walk and stared at my car, Please god not a car person. I know nothing about cars and the last thing I need is for him to be a car fanatic.
"Cool car, I think...I know for a fact it's a mustang cause of the horse!" Thank you God!
"Haha, ya it's an 01, I know nothing about it except it's my baby" It was my baby, and I was quite ok with gloating about it. I got it for my sixteenth birthday, and it's the only materialistic thing I owned I could show off...I know what you're thinking, that sounds fake, but come on, it is high school after all.
I started up the car and motioned for him to get in, he was still standing there, "Umm, aren't yuh gonna get in? I don't bite....much" I had to laugh at that comment, I hadn't intended to say that but it was definitely a good move...I think..
"Uh ya, but don't you need your backpack? or is it invisible or something?" I couldn't help but giggle at that, but he was right, I completely forgot it!
"Fuck, you're right, let me go and get it real quick!"
I ran back up to my house, but stopped at the door and thought for a moment...I really wasn't this bold, infact I was normally shy, but with Alex, I didn't want to be shy, and it was a lot easier to be bold around him.
I turned around and grinned, he just stared confused, "Hehe, why do I need my backpack, let's just skip!"
His mouth dropped open, "SKIP?!? We can't skip, it's the first day of school!"
"Awww come on, you know you want to..." I widened my grin and winked at him, "come on, it's not like you're gonna get sent to military school for skipping ONE day of school! Live a little!" Haha, I was one to talk, for the last 17 years of my life I had done everything except 'living a little', I was like a drone!
"Fine you win, but if I get sent to military school you're ass is breakin me out!"
I laughed, I never realized how funny he could be, "Deal! now get your ass in that car!"
And with that, my senior year began...